Dear Self

 Dear self

My love, I am writing you this letter from the deepest crevice of my emotions, mind and soul.

Every letter, every word, every phase

Is rooted from my core, 

Every sentence, every stanza, every rhyme, 

every hyperbole and metaphor is inked with my blood and sweat,

On this page I bleed with my heart open and bare for you to have and to hold. 

Dear self

Darling, I see you 

The strides you are making despite the weight on your fragile shoulders

The marks you're leaving with your wounded hands

The miles you're running with your bare feet 

You are up and about and I can't help but stare in awe at the person you have grown to be and are growing into

I see you sweet heart but would you pause and listen to these words I'm dying to tell you;

Babe, 

Slow down, Let me love you

Darling slow down, let me get to know you

I want to get lost in the glimmer of your big brown eyes as they get ignited in passion once more

See you smile soo hard until your dimples pop

Slow down, let me get to know you

I want to feel the beat of your heart

careening against your rib cage as you take up space and dare

Fearlessly and graciously

Let me dance up to its rhythm of excitement 

And get lost in its merciless tachycardia lub-dub

As you break records

Babe;

Slow down, let me get to know you

I want to know your buttons,

Have fun turning them on and off,

Treasuring you and showing you off

Slow down, let me get to know you

I want to face that pain in your eyes,

As hidden and shadowed by your smile,

Let me face it head on, uncover its roots and pull it out

Let me get to know you, your demons and most bloody sins

Let me face them head on and tell them to go to hell 

Where they belong

Let me spring up fountains and wells of forgiveness from within you and let nothing but peace adorn you

Slow down, let me love you 

With your flaws and all,

Let me caress every crack and scratch

 patch it up with acceptance and awareness

I have no foundation on my face but with these tiny hands I will lay a concrete one for you to build the tower of your dreams

Slow down, let me love you

Let me be there for you

In your worst moments, 

let me fall with you on your knees and breakdown till we cry in surrender to our Father in heaven

Let me see you brave the hell up like a raven

Baby girl, I love you and trust me,

Its okay that he didn't

He couldn't even if he tried. 

You're a consuming flame and he was made of paper, 

It makes sense that he ran

But I won't,

I will bask in your radiance and soak up your heat and all

I will stand it, in pain and in joy

I will love you

We can have that one thing or we can have everything

If our hearts are true

So let me

Let me dress your dehisenced wounds

and I promise to be aseptic, 

No microbe will invade your chambers on my watch,

I'll be your Betadine, painful and stinging yes but all for your good

I'll be your gauze soaking up all your residues, tears and haemorrhage

So-

So cry all you need, just let it bleed

I'll be there, securing you like a crib bandage so feel free to fall apart

In the hold of my tiny arms

I will be your safe habour.

Let me love you nana

Just let me, 

This once may we not run but take off our running shoes and rest

Rest in my embrace, rest in my hold, rest in my love 

And let me,

In the low lights and darkness of the night

Let my touch pull all your pieces together in my journaled affirmations  

and let my reflections on you summon your restoration

Let my whispered prayers be the ones to awaken the love within and fill your cup before you attempt pouring unto another

Dear self, let me love you

In all your brokenness, loneliness and hurt

Let me find you and bring you home like the prodigal son

Let me bring you back to your God

Let me bring you back to you

Dear self

Slow down, let me love you

Slow down let me get to know you❤