SAFE HARBOUR

I'm not so big on questions, anyone who knows me well will tell you I rarely ask questions, even if we just met and are getting to know each other. I prefer unfolding you for myself and answering my own questions. . . but then there's this one question that is stuck on my head and keeps playing like a broken record on its own accord in my head on a daily; WHO CARES FOR THE CARER? 

You know its easy for people to have someone they can always turn to anytime of day but how many actually reciprocate that? Just be honest for a minute, do you avail yourself for that someone you always turn to no matter the storms of life you're facing? Do you call them just to say hi on the days you're feeling fine and on top of your game? Do you check on them? 

Maybe maybe not-. . .

Anyway the point I'm driving at is that we all need someone. That strong person you relentlessly give your back to because you know they'll always have it needs you to have theirs too. They may not say it, at least not up front, but trust me they need someone too. I'm one of the carers fortunately and I've spent most of my 21 years doing just that. Being there for my people, showing up, picking up the phone and answering the texts ASAP whenever they need me. Its in my nature, a very beautiful part of me I've come to love and embrace. I will be there any day, put my feelings and ego aside to help you bind your pieces together and mend your emotions and esteem up whilst everything in me is in shambles.  

I know exactly how its like to give people the very same advice that I need, I know how to voluntary take my shoes off just to fit theirs and feel what they are feeling so I can be there for you just the way you need me to. I know- I know how to hang up from a call knowing they are smiling and feeling much better on the other end whilst I go even an inch lower and dive deeper into my own messed up situations. I know how to be there without fail and throw golden advice around whilst my own soul is screaming for mercy inside me. Trust me I know. 

It's really not because I prefer to bottle things up (maybe just a little) but its the fact that carers have no one to care for them at the end of the day when they are done mending and picking everyone up. There's no one in their corner to stitch them up and smoulder them with the same reassurance they give to everyone else. There's no one to check in on them when everyone else is feeling much better and gets on with their life until their next low that reminds them of the unfortunate "carer's" existence. There's no other calls hitting their lines except the ones of people who need help from them, as if their phones are just emergency lines.

At end of the day, we all need someone. A place to fall apart. A place where our titles, education, personalities, grades, skills, talents and everything in between does not matter because we are appreciated just for our mere being. In essence, on behalf of all the shoulders to cry on out there, I'm saying we all need a safe harbour. We too deserve a place to fall apart and be cherished regardless, even if our strength diminishes. We need people who will see through the front we put up behind our beaming smiles and get down on their knees with us to mend our wounds. We also need someone who will hold our hands in prayer and utter words to God on our behalf on the days we can not seem to find the right words. 

Everyone gets wounded and I'm saying to you today; try not to make it about you all the time. If they check on you and keep their doors open for you, reciprocate that energy. Be there for them as well. Don't just dump your problems every time and forget that they too face problems and need the same thing you needed when you came to them. 

Be a safe harbour for someone too. Make it okay for your person to come to you and have you as their person too. And lastly, friendships and all other relations should never be a one way. Learn to reciprocate the good positive energy people give. If they hold you up, stand firm and extend your hand to hold them up too. . . 

be a safe harbour because if you sometimes need one, you can be one too💗