Wish you'd see me now

I wish you would see me now,

The glow on my skin

All because He paid it all and I now walk free with no guilt of sin

No fear and no shame

 I am no  longer the same

For there is no condemnation for them that are in Christ Jesus

I have grown.

not just from the inch higher  of  walking tall

with fingers held up in farewell to your inconsistency and lies

no longer will I linger in your shadows

I have grown;

Not just my thighs getting thicker now

 nor my booty filling up my jeans now,

But my heart heavy with peace

No longer do I wear it on my sleeve

For you to have and manipulate.

I have grown;

Not just these plump cheeks popping out with every sun flowery smile

I wear on my face like a tattoo 

But the grace filling my soul with every mile

Him and I walking side by side 

My hand in His 

I'm in good hands now, with my name engraved on his palm

and my entire being tucked in the shadow of His wings

I wish you could see me now

See how I have learnt to love myself and fill myself up before attempting to pour into another 

I wish you could see me now, 

And get to experience the resilience and strong will I have now

Let you see how I too can be in love and still not succumb to your tricks and treats

See how I am strong enough to love and  not let myself suffer for it;

I'm stronger now;

And how I wish you could see me now

experience me now that I'm bolder; 

no longer a hoarder of meaningless connections

I have mastered letting go of all that is is not fulfilling

I have mastered releasing and man I love the sound of my feet walking from what is not meant for me,

  you

I wish you could see me now;

The beauty that runs from deep within me,

accentuated by each of my prayers and moments of getting lost in worship of the most high God

How I wish to flaunt it all on your face,

just to have you experience the love so pure and true 

so that you too may learn to love yourself

so that you too may thirst for his word instead of  temporal intoxication 

and the stale company you keep

I wish you could see me now;

see how His peace that surpasses all understanding adorns every fibre of my being

no longer will I chase after you for the temporal comfort of your meaningless hold

nor cuddles that bring struggles and shame

I wish you could see me now, 

Standing on my own two feet

riding solo and following no fleet

I wish you could see me now

and rub off of this aura of confidence and resilience,

that you too may tap into this anointing

and learn to love yourself and fill your empty soul,

heal your pain and conquer your traumas,

know what you want and be fearless and fierce

rather than waiting for life to happen for you 

chilling in the house watching endless series 

honey, create your own series. . .

I wish you could see me now

really see me 

for I have changed and I know you can too,

 

you owe yourself that much.